The Mutual
What makes relationships difficult is the notion of choice. When you're doing an activity that requires 2 people to become partners, there's always a little bit (if not a lot) inside us that wonders, for a split second, whether someone will want to be yours. Lately, I've been reacquainted with the notion of 'choice' in relationships. It's clearly two-way and you just can't control it all on your own.
Sometimes one person wants you to be their partner, but you want someone else to be yours. And on it goes. Sometimes you're lucky enough to find someone you want to be partners with, and to have them choose you back, but that's not always the case - unfortunately. Sometimes it's difficult to yearn for something or someone only to know that it's not mutual. Sometimes living a life full of choice and freedom is difficult. Sometimes people wait, indefinitely, for something. Sometimes they get it. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes it's just better to give up. Sometimes not. Interestingly enough, when you're in a hierarchical relationship there's no sense of giving up.
*knock, knock* There a guy at the door. He's the greatest guy in the world, but it's difficult to be with him. Imagine that he tells you he wants to be with you, but you just don't feel the same way so you close the door. Now imagine this. Every night when you get home, the guy's standing at the door waiting (get your mind off it. in this example it's not stalkerish). The guy likes you enough to stand their waiting for as long as it takes until you're ready. Most people don't wait. But God, God does wait. He'll wait and wait and wait until you finally let him in. Funny how similar the way we approach relationships and friendships can be applied in the same way with Him.
Ugh. I lost my train of thought. I wanted to make a simple point, but I've clearly gone around in circles. My apologies for the lack of cohesion. Let's stop dancing around the issue, shall we. My point is this. When the relationship is up-down (ie. parents and child), no matter how far the child goes, whether he/she chooses to have a friendship with their parents, mom and dad will wait -unconditionally. It's much easier when the diferrent people/groups aren't on the same "level". There's a bit of dragging action I find. But when the relationship is equalized (ie. friend to friend) there's no sense of prolonged waiting. All I wanted to get at was this: You may be #1 on my list, but I may be #10 on yours. We lack the mutual. And what happens when the feeling between 2 isn't mutual...?
Sometimes one person wants you to be their partner, but you want someone else to be yours. And on it goes. Sometimes you're lucky enough to find someone you want to be partners with, and to have them choose you back, but that's not always the case - unfortunately. Sometimes it's difficult to yearn for something or someone only to know that it's not mutual. Sometimes living a life full of choice and freedom is difficult. Sometimes people wait, indefinitely, for something. Sometimes they get it. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes it's just better to give up. Sometimes not. Interestingly enough, when you're in a hierarchical relationship there's no sense of giving up.
*knock, knock* There a guy at the door. He's the greatest guy in the world, but it's difficult to be with him. Imagine that he tells you he wants to be with you, but you just don't feel the same way so you close the door. Now imagine this. Every night when you get home, the guy's standing at the door waiting (get your mind off it. in this example it's not stalkerish). The guy likes you enough to stand their waiting for as long as it takes until you're ready. Most people don't wait. But God, God does wait. He'll wait and wait and wait until you finally let him in. Funny how similar the way we approach relationships and friendships can be applied in the same way with Him.
Ugh. I lost my train of thought. I wanted to make a simple point, but I've clearly gone around in circles. My apologies for the lack of cohesion. Let's stop dancing around the issue, shall we. My point is this. When the relationship is up-down (ie. parents and child), no matter how far the child goes, whether he/she chooses to have a friendship with their parents, mom and dad will wait -unconditionally. It's much easier when the diferrent people/groups aren't on the same "level". There's a bit of dragging action I find. But when the relationship is equalized (ie. friend to friend) there's no sense of prolonged waiting. All I wanted to get at was this: You may be #1 on my list, but I may be #10 on yours. We lack the mutual. And what happens when the feeling between 2 isn't mutual...?
posted by SYL at
10:57 AM
1 Comments:
Okay, nevermind. this is not about what i thought it was. I hope i'm not on your #10. I think of you quite highly on my list.. but sometimes it's also about showing that the other is just as high in order for reciprocity to happen.
fine, you can be my friend again :D har.
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