It's so close. I can taste freedom already. What do I want to say. Tonite reminded me of a lot of things. It showed me a lot too. Since 6:30 the adrenaline has been pumping hard. The little bursts of emotion (ungodly ones) are floating near surface. Only one person chose to ask me if I was okay tonite. MAybe it's cuz he knows me well enough that he can see right through me, or just read my face, or maybe he just guessed. i do'nt know. we weren't able to talk about it tonite though, which i probably would have liked or needed, but i guess that's how things work in life sometimes. i've got some raging emotions right now. rawr. yeah i'm pissed. actually i'm more annoyed. everythign feels so out of place. i'm looking back at this summer, and the last. has there been a difference? a while back i thought there was. i thought i had conquered the test. i thought i could pass or was at least close to passing. but after tonite, two things are going through my mind: 1) i made the wrong choice so this is ahppening becuase of that. (2) i failed. this summer, i came back for a retest and I thought I could or was doing okay, but it turns out that I wasn't. Now, as I stand back and look, instead of taking the test again, or trying to pass with whatever time I have left, I just feel like quitting cuz it's useless.